Reflecting on the past does absolutely nothing for us – it permits us to wallow in guilt or sadness or just things in general that we cannot fix. It’s like running on a hamster wheel and not getting anywhere…ever.
A goal I am setting for myself this year is to simply be better than I was yesterday.
Here’s where I’m at, for the most part. I am still down due to the sinus infection and endo flare up. Endo flare ups are like…the absolute worse thing ever. The only thing that helps is sleep and a heating pad. The good thing is I have a new doc appt in two weeks so it’s just holding out for that countdown.
Between feeling icky and work, I am fairly occupied. My writing has taken a back seat at this time just because I’m not feeling the greatest. This evening is the first evening I have a decent amount of energy and feel alright.
My mind has been a whirlwind of thoughts lately in relations to life and death. Mainly because it’s been around me with relatives and illnesses. It’s made me realize and question my own mortality, my own being here. Our paths, our journeys, whatever we each wish to call it that we are on….whether it be misdirected or misguided or straight as an arrow or one with nothing but curveballs. I’ve thought a lot about what matters, what is important, what counts.
I have come to this –
I am thankful for who is in my life right now and those who I have been grateful enough to spend time with before they passed. I am grateful for the time spent with my grandfather. I am grateful for time spent with those who matter. Family and friends, those closest and nearest and dearest to my heart.
There’s a few –
I am grateful you taught me lessons. You taught me how to get off of my feet when you cause hurt and pain. You taught me how to be resilient and find strength in my voice when you made me doubt it. Other than that, I do not care. I don’t care what happens to you, what life throws your way or how you end up. I have cut that off as far and much as I can.
Enjoy your evening, I’ll be sharing poetry later this week.
Finally a weekend where I am beginning to feel better. Good lord. This has been absolutely non-stop with the colds, sniffles, infections – you name it! I don’t think the absurd weather changes help either. One day seems like Spring and the next we are getting 6-7 inches of snow.
January in this new year can be all about stepping off on the right foot for 2019. Start the year off positively! Don’t hold yourself up on resolutions which even myself am guilty of doing but what I am trying this year is to be better than who I was yesterday. In all areas of my life really. Health, happiness, work, etc.
I haven’t been able to post or write in a while – here is the gist…
I am so darn sick. Like sinus infection and getting over that. Well, a few days ago I woke up in the absolute worst pain of pains. My lower abdomen was screaming. It wasn’t pretty! Turns out I have a bladder infection AND UTI so at the moment it is nothing but meds and rest.
Here we go, 2019!
The writing on the wall
Was always there
We are all going to fall
But accepting the fact
Is the constant struggle
Of wondering when
And wondering how
Instead of living in the moments
Of living in the now
She walks the city streets
Desperate to fit in
Yet not be seen
Blond hair flowing
Her feet take her places
Where she never thought she’d go
When the only ones in the world
Are those that feel like her
But their eyes never meet, never lock
She keeps her gaze down
On her feet
On the sidewalk
She clings to words
That flash through her mind
That she lacks courage to place onto paper
And spends another night walking
When no words will be written
Another night wondering
Of what could be
What should be
Happy Sunday, everyone! I spent a little time reading the other day and came across this. Honestly, I don’t know who said it. Maybe Buddha did…maybe he didn’t. But it is a good quote or saying or whatever you wish to call it.
Looking over this past year…don’t hold onto anger. Don’t hold onto what did not happen or let you down or made you regret. The anger towards whatever happened, you have to let it go and move forward. Let it propel you into the next great thing. Whatever is in your past…decide that it is a lesson or maybe it had something to teach you. Learn from it and put a foot in the other direction.
The fear of what I do not know
It cannot be seen
It escapes me
Unable to grasp
Not real or tangible
It scares me to the core
That it will not be found
The eerie calm
With the lack of having answers
Before it is time
Before you are gone
Wednesday. The middle of the week – we’re halfway to the weekend! Or in my case, not that I am bragging TOO much but I have been lucky enough to have the week off until tomorrow. I rarely take time off. Unless it is life or death then it just does not happen for me.
Maybe it means I am a control freak or just like work. Who knows?!
Anyways. In my hours of time off I grew bored somewhere along the line and happened along Pinterest. Spending time pinning recipes or positive quotes or even clothes because I get a little bit vain is a fabulous way to pass the time. Let’s be honest here. The above image is one I found and just clicked with me. It stuck with me for a day and a half now and it has to the one of the simplest images or quotes I have seen yet.
Inhale courage. Exhale fear.
It means so much if you really think about it.
I usually never post before a poem or what not but this is honestly one of my favorites. I sat down with a notebook late over the weekend and it just happened.
Unspoken, no reflection
The skeleton words
Words we dare not say
That crumble and tear away
We struggle with them
They are packed and carried
Tucked away on our backs
Fiercely locked away
Throw away the skeleton key
Close the door
The words that remain in
Just kept to ourselves
That we replay if it is to be seen
Never to be told
Never to be spoken